Sunday, March 30, 2008
The eraser thing
I remember in my younger days in school, I used to get so very annoyed whenever someone came up and asked, "Can I borrow your eraser/pencil/ruler" WHILE taking it from my pencil case. Many a times they'd argue that they've already asked permission.
I often ended up neither giving them an outright 'yes' or 'no' to borrow the goods in question, but telling them that when you ask a question, it doesn't mean you get a consent. It was a matter of principle. It was definitely not that I didn't want to share, but because they couldn't just wait another second for the reply.
I often made a racket about these things and some teachers have told me I was the one in the wrong, and I should just share in the first place. (This is how they ground you to get ready for the real world in our sunny little garden city, the uniquely Singaporean way with peace and harmony)
Anyway until recently, I've come to realise what a snotty, shitty little bugger I've been. I used to say that when we ask for permission, be prepared that the answer could go both ways, even if intentions are good. Now, I understand that putting principle into practise is no easy feat.
When we ask for permission and it gets turned down again and again, we feel 'lousy' would be an understatement. We'd feel bothered by it for longer than we realise. We start questioning our efforts, our image, our worth. This 'No' could be the straw to break the camel's back (never really understood the saying, though). Putting yourself in the shoe of the recipient, one would just feel like shit.
Lesson 1: Sometimes principles just don't work in the real world, and going against it might just make our world so much better.
Lesson 2: No matter how small an act may seem to you, it could mean the world to another.
I'll never deny anybody an eraser again.
Posted at 1:08 PM
